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R.
03 June 2012 @ 04:30 pm
To have lost a father in this lifetime is too much to bear, but twice? I am at loss for words and I find myself stunned in disbelief.

I felt so loved and with this I have loved greatly in return, maybe not the perfect kind but in ways I know. Sometimes I wish I have less people to love and offer my prayers for so that when the universe decides to take them away, it wouldn't hurt too much.

I have been blessed, and I think this lifetime will never be enough to thank everyone who has been a part of it.

To have known loss and losing, it may seem to be easier this time but it never is.

The pain hides away in the creases of my heart, it lodges into it's deepest crevice and shows up at random moments; floating up to the surface and hits you like a runaway train.

You know I love you, we love you. You gave your best and I know that you are tired.

You wanted to let go... and I see nothing wrong in letting go.
You deserve to rest and be finally happy.
Wherever you are you will always, always be loved.
 
 
R.
01 June 2012 @ 11:11 am
I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I’ll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I’ll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.
 
 
Current Location: planet x
Current Mood: blankblank
 
 
R.
23 January 2012 @ 12:05 pm
December was filled with sleepless nights, tired eyes, & uncertainties.

January was made up of hopes, books & things to read. Some days were birthdays spent in a hospital and struggling to make it through, but most of it was filled with days with clasped hands filled with prayers and hope. At the last quarter of last year, I made a pact with myself, to be better, to live a life filled with hope and a life dedicated to kindness and gratitude of all the universe have lent me.As days of January is trickling to a close, I shall continue in hope and prayer because I know February will be filled with better things:)

February will be about freedom and triumph above all things. Triumph may sound too big for me, but it will be nonetheless. 
 
 
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
 
 
R.
01 December 2010 @ 08:18 pm


because it melts hurts, it heals aches.
 
 
Current Mood: calmcalm
 
 
R.
21 November 2010 @ 06:30 pm
 
I spent most of today thinking of how pretty the sky was last night.
I couldn't be much happier. The distance we've made taught me of how to love enough.
Not too much, not too little.
The time I spent away from you taught me how to be happy enough.
To watch you drift from my shores. You are the Sea and I cannot own you.
One cannot own the sea, one can only love.
I am happy to see you happy.
I write you things because I am not that pretty when I cry.
and I look funny.
Read these and close your eyes,
and think of me in the prettiest smile I can ever wear.
 
 
Current Mood: pensivepensive
 
 
 
R.
17 November 2010 @ 08:48 pm
I miss the warmth of a heart
To feel safe.

A dreams end.

Hypospontanea
 
 
R.
16 August 2010 @ 09:41 pm
You use to be a plane ride away but now you're here, too near but I can't reach you.

I regret not being the sweetest girl, I could have blown you all the kisses too heavy for the wind to send to you.
I could have written all those letters and you could have seen my life in photographs  but those are the things I never thought of. I never thought you'd choose to see me in a different light or rather at a different vantage. Somewhere a lot clearer, where no distance can ever hold you back from being with me. I am the love of your life, I know that by heart and never a day goes by that I don't wish to eat another slice of pizza with you. Words fail me, and up to this second I still get this feeling of having my heart on my throat whenever I think about you. My last memories of you were so faint and I remember asking you about the rain. Probably that was better, to set a distance before leaving so it would be easier. I miss you, I'll visit you soon, I'll bring pizza and coffee over, but for now just stay still.A part of you I will keep safe and sealed inside my heart.
 
 
Current Mood: mellowmellow
 
 
R.
14 July 2010 @ 03:57 am
If you had a weather resistant camera, where would you take it?

I'd take it everywhere I go.
Because every moment is worth remembering,
only much better this time because I don't have to worry about having it soaked.
Under the rain, or while wading in a pool, or dancing with the tides. Through hurricanes and sandstorms
Just think of all those possibilities, they are endless:)
 
 
R.
30 April 2009 @ 10:42 am
No one really knows the real story behind us.
Even your most rational-thinking friends, judgemental acquaintances, and other prying and meddling people.
All they know is you left.
No one really knows, just the two of us.
They will never know of how much you loved me, and how happy we were.
And all they can do is conclude and judge because that's how humans are.
But that's not enough reason. People see what they wanted to see and believe what they wanted to believe in.
But at the end of the day, there is more to that story that they know.
There is this truth, that only our hearts know.
No, not even the most rational and logical person can ever know.






 
 
Current Location: grandma's bedroom
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Whatever It Takes- Lifehouse
 
 
R.
28 April 2009 @ 06:41 am

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.
It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

Elizabeth Bishop
 
 
 
 
Current Location: store
Current Mood: crappycrappy